TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM, ARE NOT:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counsellor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6 Is it a penal offence?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn't 1. Think you
can get me off?

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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE, ARE NOT:

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
4. Your equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting it off today?

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isn't 1. It's
not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, ARE NOT:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't 1. Hold up! I
need to wash my balls first!